Needing You .:7:.

He was on the road now, he had been for some time. The school principal allowed Matt to have Mr. Haner's address because Matt wanted to write him a 'letter.'
Brian was now living in Wyoming, it would take some traveling to get there. Of course, his mom gave him enough money for the trip, and he packed everything he owned. The letter sat on his dashboard at all times. The flowers were dwindling, only a few still alive. They sat in the passenger seat. When he needed to, he would open the letter and read it. The words made him want to find Brian even more.
He was almost there, only needing to find the town.

Brian finished the lesson on Mark Twain to his middle school class, feeling a slight sense of accomplishment. They hadn't really gotten anywhere because every kid had a long, stupid question to ask. He erased the board and then read a poem by Shakespeare to end the class.
It was a love poem, and he smiled as he envisioned reading it to Matt. He wondered how he was doing, but the thought was fleeting.
When he was done, he asked, "Any questions?"
Cynthia, a short, freckled brunette, shot her hand up. As usual.
"Yes, Cynthia?"
"Have you ever been in love, Mr. Haner?"
He stopped and stared at the blurry words on the paper. Slowly he nodded and whispered lowly as the bell drowned out his words, "Yes..."
The kids forgot all about Cynthia's question, and they raced out with excited hollers. Even Cynthia had forgotten the question.
He closed his book with a sigh and slid off his desk, sliding the thick book back into its place.
He bent over, mumbling to himself about a book that he had seemed to misplace. As he scanned the bookshelf, he was unaware that his door had been closed so quietly that he hadn't heard it.
"Mr. Haner...?" A quiet, deep voice said.
He raised his brows, thinking it was a student who had left something. "Yes? Forget something?" He murmured loud enough for the student to hear, still trying to find the book.
"Yes..." The voice seemed closer now. "But now I remember...and I've come here to find it again."
Brian furrowed his brows, looking at the shoes at his side. He then looked up into the student's face only to find that it wasn't a student at all. He gasped and stood erect, gripping the shelf for support.
"Matthew," he gripped his heart, giving a small chuckle. His eyes were hurting, Matt could see it. "I wasn't expecting you...I-How did you get here?"
Matt simply smiled before he stepped forward, just mere inches from Brian before saying, "I asked for your forwarding address and went from there." He then brought Brian's face into his hands to bring his face down slightly to kiss him deeply.
The breath caught in his throat, and the ground beneath him fell out from under him. He gripped onto Matt's arms, gasping sharply as his lips tingled. His body lost the fight with gravity, melting against Matt as he let out a hoarse utterance. Tears trembled down his cheeks as he returned the kiss the best he could with his foggy mind.
Matt played with the hairs on the back of Brian's neck before pulling away after what seemed an eternity. Matt also had tears streaming down his cheeks as he smiled up at Brian. "I'm so sorry I went away for a while, Brian, but I'm back, and I'll never leave again..." He gave a small sob before hugging Brian tight.
Brian held Matt's shirt in his white fists, staying up right on his own the best he could. "Matt, I'm so sorry...So sorry. If I had only drove you home, if..." He trailed off, hiccupping repeatedly.
"None of this was your fault..." Matt soothed, stroking his hair as he held him. "Not one bit. You weren't the one who shoved me in the road, and you couldn't have known to stop in time." Matt knew he would always be a little weaker than he once was from being in a coma, but he also knew that his heart was stronger than before, every beat was for Brian.
The pieces of shattered heart in Brian's chest seemed to become magnetized, forming his whole heart once more. With a sniffle, Brian managed to stand up on his own. His lips trembled slightly as he gazed down at Matt. "Thank you for coming and telling me that..." His smile faded a little. "Will you...Tell your mom hi for me? We bonded when you were sleeping..."
Matt bit his lip, blinking a few times as he continued supporting Brian. "Brian...I'm moving here..." he said softly, hoping Brian wouldn't think badly of him for it.
Brian's face lit up, but he was still a little confused. "But...What about your boyfriend? Matt, I don't want to take your happiness away."
Matt pursed his lips slightly. "Things didn't...work out, but I think my new option is much better," Matt teased, wiping Brian's and his tears from his cheeks.
With a ragged breath, Brian trembled in Matt's hands and closed his eyes tight as he smiled and sobbed at the same time.
Matt shushed him softly as he rubbed his back, kissing him all over his face. "I'm so sorry, baby..."
Brian shook his head, hugging Matt just as tight. "No...Don't be. I'm so happy Matt." He smiled bigger, pressing his face into Matt's shoulder. "So happy...You're here with me."
Matt smiled. "Mind if we sit...? I don't think I can handle all of this standing up," he laughed shakily, feeling a new wave of tears emerge.
They sat down on Brian's new desk, Brian in Matt's lap.
He played with Matt's shirt collar, his sobs fading away eventually into tiny sniffles. "Oh, Matt..." Brian whispered, closing his eyes. "I love you. I love you so damn much. I could scream it."
Matt shook his head, burying his face in Brian's neck as he sighed softly. "You won't have to scream it...I already know how much you love me, and I'll never forget how much you love me, ever again...You trust me, don't you?" He seemed to be begging as he looked up at Brian, his breath still trickling down his neck carefully.
Brian nodded with a small whine, hugging Matt closer. "I trust you with my whole heart..."
Matt suddenly sat up with an eager smile. "Now, about this letter," he said, pulling it out of his back pocket, unfolding it.
A little shocked from the sudden change of mood, Brian looked at the letter before covering his eyes with his hands. He sighed, his voice muffled, "I...I didn't know what else to do."
Matt nuzzled Brian's face with a chuckle. "I'm glad you did it..." He sat back down slowly, leaning close to Brian, as if never wanting to separate from him. "Y'know...that day...I mouthed something to you..." He began twiddling his thumbs carefully as his face slowly grew red.
"Hmm?" Brian's lips were traveling around the never forgotten surface of Matt's neck.
Matt gave a hard shudder as he seriously wondered how his mind could've ever been so messed up as to make him forget this... "I...I told you that I loved you, but I didn't think you were ready for me to say that so I kinda...walked away stupidly." He gave a small chuckle, biting on his lip gently.
Brian's lips nipped Matt's jaw bone before Brian sat up straight in Matt's lap, looking into his eyes. "I wasn't ready to say it...I've never said I've loved anyone in that way before...But, if you had said it...I wouldn't have minded." He blushed terribly.
Matt smiled, seeming accomplished with himself as he said, "I heard what you said to me later that day..." He hated to bring it up, but he knew it had to be said. "It was the last words I heard before I went to sleep..."
He blinked rapidly, nearly choking as he remembered cradling Matt's limp body. He looked away, knowing that his eyes would betray him soon. He couldn't speak; he could barely breathe.
"I-I'm sorry...I just thought...you should know..." Matt stroked his face gently, his fingers slightly shaky.
A bird swooped by the window, making Brian blink. He kept his eyes closed as he whispered, "Thank you..."
Matt smiled before taking Brian into his arms tighter, swaying slightly. "God, I've missed you so much..."
Brian let a single tear fall out as he hugged Matt back. "I've missed you, too, love."
~
He helped Matt unpack his car, putting everything in its rightful place.
The house that Brian now lived at was a two-story suburban home. The carpet was like fleece, and the walls were a creamy color.
The bedroom was twice the size of the old one, set with a walk in closet and a bathroom all to itself with the tub that could be used as a hot tub or a pool for small children.
"Damn, Brian...how do you afford all of this on your salary?" Matt teased. "Rob a bank?"
Brian squeezed in the rest of Matt's clothes into the dresser, forcing the drawer shut. He looked up at Matt before looking around with a smile. "My dad..."
Matt raised a brow. "You've never told me about your dad before..." He stepped closer as if inviting Brian to talk about him.
He slowly let himself fall back to sit on the comfortable floor. "Well...I never got the chance, I guess," Brian mumbled, drawing little circles over the fuzzy carpet.
"Well..." Matt sat down next to him, taking his hand and putting it on his thigh. "What did he do? Y'know I mean...how did you get the money...?" His voice was soft as he was slightly nervous, but very curious.
Brian gave Matt's thigh a small squeeze, saying, "He was a big business man...So, he got tons of money. We traveled together everywhere. After mom left us, Dad was always there. It was me and him," he laughed faintly, looking up in thought as he murmured, "Against the world...Or, it felt like that sometimes. I spent a lot of years transferring schools because of his job. But, I thought it was fun. It was like an adventure. But..." He let his smile escape his face.
"But what, baby...?" Matt said, putting his hand over Brian's with a small squeeze. His eyes were noticeably shiny.
"Well, he got married to another woman. She had other kids, and it seemed like dad was suddenly taken away from me...I," he frowned, taking his hand away as if he were ashamed of what he was about to say and didn't want anyone touching him.
Matt frowned with concern. "Please tell me, Brian...I'm here for you..." He carefully took Brian's hand back.
"I was an idiot kid...Instead of seeing that my dad was happy, I ruined his life." Brian spat at himself. "I told him that he didn't love me and that he was just as selfish as mom when she left for another guy. He looked at me like I had stabbed him...Then, I stopped talking to him as much as I used to. I stopped saying I loved him and I stopped being around him. My stepmom kept her distance from me, she knew I didn't like her. I guess because I told her that straightforwardly one day..." He pinched the pocket of his blue jeans, saying, "I stayed away from everyone. I locked myself away in my room...He had taught me guitar, and since he had, I stopped playing it. I...I broke it and gave it back to him." Brian's voice lowered, "He...Never once said he hated me...He never got angry at me for anything. I wish he had. I wish he had slapped me and thrown me out."
Matt blinked rapidly, now on the verge of tears as he leaned close to Brian, letting him continue to vent his feelings.
"It was too late to say sorry...It seemed to happen in a blink of an eye. Dad was gone...He died of cancer. I never got the chance to tell him how much I really did care. Or that I even loved him...My aunt took me in, and we moved to California where I stayed and became a teacher." Brian closed his eyes, feeling like a pound of bricks was lifted off his chest. "I ask him daily if...If he's proud of me."
"Of course he is, Brian... I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I know he's proud of you...Any parent that stays with their child through such rough times...they'll always be proud of their child." Matt's voice began to quiver as he hugged Brian tight. "He knows that you love him just as much as he loves you, and nothing will ever change that..."
Brian leaned against Matt, feeling relieved to have gotten that lid taken off. To have let everything flow out of the bottle he had hidden away in his mind. "...Sorry to have blabbered like that...I know it's not what you wanted at all, but I got this money from his will."
"It's everything I've wanted..." Matt whispered, closing his eyes as his nose trailed gently across Brian's jaw. "It's another part of you that I get to remember."
He smiled, saying, "Matt...I'm sorry for all the pain you went through in your childhood..." He looked at Matt, taking him into his arms now. "You're so strong and good hearted. I want to be just like you...I want to grow and be a better person. Someone like you."